WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO BLUFF SEPARATE IN MARRIAGE AND RELATIONSHIPS? HOW DOES ANOTHER FACTOR AFFECTED BY ONE OF THE COUPLES?
Relationships today have both beautiful and challenging aspects. Especially discussions are directly affected by the problem solving skills of the couples. Couples who experience difficult processes at the time of these discussions sometimes say “I want to leave you” with anger even though they do not want to leave. They even seem to really want to leave, even in tiny tensions. They express that they said with nervousness after calming down after the discussion. However, they do not know that this behavior is a problem and what effects it creates on the other person. Although these destructive sentences formed with a nerve are like a bluff, they do not really involve in separation, but they damage the relationships. Well, despite the damage caused to the relationship, why do people say that, then let's take a look at the internal processes of the people who said this, why they did this behavior.
First of all, the desire to leave intensely is actually a desire to get away from discussing at that moment. People feel wrong at that moment that they want to get away from arguing. Because they do not realize their basic thoughts. In fact, what they want is an indisputable environment. They think that they will not be able to find this environment at that moment and they see it as a desire to leave with learned helplessness. They think that I want to leave very intensely, I want to go away. As a result of this thought, these sentences come out of their mouths. This means that these people have difficulties with the past in dealing with problems in the relationship. If they were not understood before, if the problems were not solved as they wanted, they think that they will experience the same things over and over again, and they want to get away from that moment and they want to never experience these situations, so they think that separation is the best solution for that moment. However, after they calm down, they see how beautiful their current relationships are, their positive and positive sides. However, even if they see them, they can be proud this time and avoid stepping on their partner. For this reason, it is necessary to empathize with the other party's feelings.
When we look at the feelings of the other party, these people often experience hurt, fracture, and disintegration. It cannot be firmly attached to the partner relationship that has experienced this many times. He will fall into action at any moment and be cautious. Since she experiences the pain of constant separation after each discussion, she will not experience any fear of losing it after a while. It begins to become insensitive. He starts to move away. Relationships already change color after they move away and they go to the point of rupture. In fact, simple word of mouth words in discussions have a very important role in people's lives and their future. For this reason, good problem solving skills, anger control and language use are important. It would be pointless to wait for the people who broke in the relationship to forgive, saying "What should I do when I am angry?" This only means trying to ignore the problems that are happening, such as sweeping dust under the carpet.
People who cannot control their anger at the time of the discussion, those who want a discussion to be resolved immediately, and those who think that I should express myself in the discussions, generally behave this way. In fact, people who are prone to separation have some patterns in their heads and they want them to behave according to the patterns in their heads in every matter. When they are acted out of this, they begin to argue on the logic of "how it behaves like this" and "how not to think about it. They are likely to encounter this situation when they do not develop good enough communication skills in discussing and have difficulty expressing themselves.
Often psychologically tired people avoid to argue. They don't want to talk about their problems. Because they cannot find the strength to talk to them and to discuss. Now they think and throw out, "How hard will I express myself?" It will be harder to talk about the problem than to end the relationship. Therefore, they prefer to take a shortcut by saying “I will get rid of the problem if I end the relationship”. Then they feel sad, feel the sadness outweigh, and this time they don't want to deal with sadness. Therefore, they understand that they have made mistakes and continue the relationship. However, this situation makes us think that even in small discussions with the other party in their relations, they will be interrupted. In this way, people do not feel safe in a relationship, and when they do not feel safe, they find it difficult to connect. While just being connected, let's break up in small discussions is destructive.
Threatening relationship and marriage to end in every discussion in marriage is actually a form of violence. People who say this often may face the situation that their relationship ends because their counterparty now accepts separation.
For this reason, they should protect the relationship and develop their discussion skills. One should not allow destructive emotions such as anger to control itself at the time of discussion. Relationships require seriousness, responsibility, respect, love, trust and bond. When these values are damaged, the words spoken with the bluff cause the end of the income relationship or even a marriage. For this reason, instead of saying words like this in a rough way, it should be considered thoroughly and if separation is considered, it should be expressed. Even if separation is thought, it should not be decided with anger, and it should not be forgotten that separation is an etiquette. It is a decision that needs to be carefully considered on the decision of separation because the relations that go well do not form spontaneously, they are constructed with constructiveness, labor and patience. If you are having similar problems in your relationships, call our professional support line +905447243650.