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Mourning is a natural reaction to the death of a loved one. Although the loss may vary according to the person living, the relationship with the deceased and the way of death, the mourning process consists of four basic phases.
Symptoms of mourning:
Stage 1: In this stage, which can vary from a few hours to a few weeks, one has difficulty in understanding the reality of death. He may be confused, dull, unresponsive, and experience feelings of emptiness and unrealism. In this period, remembering strengths, physical symptoms may be seen.
Stage 2: The person feels the pain of loss more and more, experiences intense feelings of sadness and longing, searches for the deceased, cries. Anger, restlessness, fear and excitement, difficulty concentrating, and reluctance to enjoy and enjoy things can be seen. The mind is busy with death and death. This phase may continue for days to weeks.
3. Phase: As the fact that the loss will not return, feelings of hopelessness and helplessness emerge and fatigue-exhaustion, reluctance and loss of interest are in the foreground.
Stage 4: Within months, with the acceptance of the certainty and consequences of death, the intensity of one's longing and sorrow decreases gradually. Although the memories of the deceased are not lost, the person returns to the state before the loss, rearranges his life, hopes and plans for the future are regained.
Sometimes the mourning process can become complicated, the mourning symptoms become more severe and last longer, when the death of the loved one occurs unexpectedly, especially as a result of bombing, war, violence and / or witnessing them. We can call this process “traumatic grief..
The following symptoms may occur during the mourning process:
Physical reactions: Headache, chest pain and chest tightness, knot in throat, difficulty swallowing, feeling of hunger, nausea, vomiting, constipation or diarrhea, shortness of breath, palpitations, menstrual irregularities, muscular twitching, tension and contractions, sleep disturbances, changes in appetite , fatigue and fatigue can be seen.
Emotional reactions: Denial of death, Sadness, crying, longing, anger, distress, insecurity, anxiety, fear of losing his mind, loss of interest and desire for life, not being able to enjoy anything, feeling no feelings, hopelessness and pessimism about the future, loneliness helplessness can be seen.
Spiritual reactions: Feeling that the deceased is still alive, feeling that he exists, hearing his voice, seeing his dream, questioning the concepts of life and death
Cognitive reactions: Not being able to stop thinking and thinking of the deceased and death, self-blame, anger, regret, reminiscent of the moment of death, even living very vividly, indecision, difficulty in concentrating, memory problems
Behavioral reactions: Aimless hyperactivity, devotion to help others completely, avoiding the pain of loss, not wanting to get away from people and negotiation, overdeveloping or trying to stay away from the belongings of the deceased, going to the grave or not going to the grave, using alcohol and / or drugs, sexual changes.
Advice and considerations for mourners:
1. To meet basic requirements such as nutrition, shelter and dressing and to provide sleep order.
2. Creating an environment in which you feel safe.
3. Encourage him to talk about the deceased to help him realize the reality of the loss and accept it.
4. Allowing him to express his feelings of sadness, pain, distress, anger and helplessness.
5. Avoiding such words as al you must be strong ”,” life continues ”, ecek soon will pass, end”, kal you must survive for your children çalışmak to reduce the pain, and instead try to understand and share the feelings sincerely.
6. Using a language that emphasizes the reality of loss when talking to a mourner, for example: instead of iniz you lost your son ”,” your son is dead ”. Using the gear past tense like nasıl what kind of person your son was ”.
7. To help him perform funerals and mourning ceremonies in line with his culture and belief.
8. Identify existing problems, talk about different options and help them learn how to cope in order to live independently and make independent decisions.
9. Prevent significant changes in life and sudden and improper decisions (such as moving, changing jobs or changing cities).
10. To strengthen contact with people who can provide social support such as family, friends, neighbors, and to direct support groups and people and / or institutions providing mental health services if necessary.
11. To take into consideration the positive effects of the mourning process, to direct them to work life, to support students to continue school, to encourage non-working, elderly and housewives to find new fields of interest and occupation.
12. To recognize the mourning process and reactions, to know that mourning is a process that requires time and effort.
13. Knowing that mourning is a process that can vary from person to person, allowing opportunities for individual differences (eg members of the same family may react differently).
14. To discuss and deal with methods of coping such as alcohol and / or drug use, avoidance of loss-related places.
15. To refer to the specialist in cases where the grieving process is severe, lasts longer than expected, and affects one's daily life and relationships.
16. To be careful about psychological disorders that may occur after death (such as depression, anxiety disorder, suicidal thoughts and attempts) and to direct them to the specialist.
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